ooc: I hate to do this but I think I’m gonna drop Dimitri.

I just feel bad saying that he’s coming back and I’m going to do something with him and then nothing happens.

I just lost my motivation to RP him.

And I know, crappy timing on my part because the Anastasia family is going through some angsty shit right now. But I just can’t bring myself to answer paras, posts, ect. So I’m sorry… but I think it’s time to bid him adieu.

The Return || Disia

glossyeyeddecember:

Stasia flinched back when he touched her. Its not that she didn’t want him too, it was that she still couldn’t believe that he was really there. She shook her head the whole time he talked, her mind rejecting his words, trying to protect herself. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked up at the ceiling as she pulled her sleeves back over her hands. She bit back another sob and blinked against her tears. When she finally thought she could manage to speak to him, actually look him in the eye and speak to him, she looked down.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.” she said quietly “I don’t want you to leave but its not that simple…things have changed…I’ve changed. I know its only been a few weeks but so much has been twisted since then and I can’t—” Rory’s face, pale as death, flashed before her eyes and she felt tears well up again. She looked back up into the ceiling “I can’t just forget it all, just because you’re back, I can’t just pretend things where like they where before you left.” she choked out. Wiping frustrated at he tears

“And I’m not asking you to do that… Stasia whatever this is we can make it through together. I’m here for you,” he said quietly. At that moment he wanted to take her into his arms and stroke her hair, telling her everything was okay. He hid his disappointment well. Why couldn’t things be the way they were? He knew deep down they wouldn’t be. But he didn’t want to believe it.

One thing he knew for sure was that he wasn’t going anywhere. He would stay by her side through thick and through thin and they would do this together. Slowly he rose from his place on the floor, sitting next to her on the couch. He moved cautiously, fearful that one wrong move would ruin everything. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and smiled weakly.  

The Return || Disia

glossyeyeddecember:

“…me to leave”

Leave. The word hung in the air in front of her, taunting her like it had so many times before. She saw herself as a young teenager, running through the woods screaming out his name, looking in the tree house and not finding him there and curling into herself. Waiting and waiting until finally Viktor found her and picked her up while she thrashed in his grip. “He’s going to come back! He’s has to come back! HE PROMISED ME.” her screams rang fresh in her ears. Then again, the second time, how she had run to the same place, tears streaming down her face. She had knelt on the floor and tucked her head between her knees and screamed until her throat was raw and Cindy had shown up.

So many images flashed before her, the good, the bad, the places somewhere in between when everything had begun to fall apart. She reached for Rory’s ring but found only an empty space. She had buried it with him, one last try to say goodbye to him forever. Instead her hand opted for her little charm. She gripped it in her hand as the same treacherous word rang in her ear. So many people had left her, her family, him, now Rory as well. Slowly she shifted her gaze to the boy standing by the door, the boy she had known for so long, the boy who had left, and left again, and shattered her heart into a million pieces that she wasn’t sure she could ever put back together.

The ringing in her ears stopped as she caught his gaze. He was real, he was standing right there and she still hadn’t woken up.

“NO!” she screamed a sob retching out of her chest as she clutched the pillow to her “NO! You can’t go! You can’t leave again! Why did you leave again?!” she cried again and then chucked the pillow at his chest, curling into herself, shaking and trying to restrict the sobbing from ripping her chest apart. 

He was taken aback for a moment, but crumpled to the floor, landing on his knees before her. He hated seeing her like this. He couldn’t stand it. And against his better judgment he reached out to her, trying to comfort her like he had so many times before. But how could he possibly comfort her when it was he, who had caused her so much pain? He laid a hand on her knee, head hanging low.

“Stasia,” he choked, tears streaming down his face. “You must have very little trust in me, if you have any at all… but I’m not leaving you. I mean it this time. And my word is probably no good to you anymore… but if you let me, I’ll stay with you forever. I love you. And I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you like this.” He stayed where he was, fearful she’d push him away if he came any closer. He didn’t know if he could handle that.

The Return || Disia

glossyeyeddecember:

Her head snapped up when he said her name in that soft chocked voice of his. She shook her head and looked the other way “Close the door, its freaking freezing outside.” she croaked. Taking a pillow from the side of the couch and holding it to her stomach. She didn’t know what to do. Actually she sort of felt like she was going to puke. She swallowed quickly as if to keep the imaginary stuff from emerging. 

Her eyes never strayed from the upper corner of the molding of the door frame. She couldn’t look at him. Even now she couldn’t believe this was real, she must have fallen asleep doing her homework or something. Her eyes flickered towards him for only a second, but it was enough to make the lump in her throat tighten as she looked away again. Oh god. How, and why was this happening right now?

She looked down at her hands and quickly pulled her sleeves over them, trying to hide the blood she thought she still saw under her fingers. How was she supposed to tell him that she had killed Rory? That she had ended their problems but in doing so created a whole slew of others. The better question was why was she even thinking about this like he was really there? Any moment now she would wake up just like she had so many times before, wipe her eyes, and carry on. 

“This isn’t real.” she said with a short, humorless laugh as she shook her head again and bit the inside of her cheek.

Dimitri slowly approached the couch, still keeping his distance. She wouldn’t look at him. Couldn’t, probably. But how could she see how sorry he was if she wouldn’t look at him? He took a deep breath, readying himself for whatever was to come. “Stasia, listen. If you want me gone after this… If you don’t want me in your life anymore I understand I just… I need you to know I’m sorry. Genuinely. I promised you I’d never leave you again and I did. I thought it was the right thing at the time but… it wasn’t. If you never forgive me, I understand I just needed you to know. I’m sorry.”

As he spoke he felt the lump in his throat grow tighter, his stomach twisting into knots. And when the tears came, he didn’t try to hide them. He couldn’t move. Was frozen on the spot. But he knew this was something he needed to do. he ad to face the mistake he made head on. “I know I could never make this up to you but… if you let me… I’ll try. If you want me to leave just tell me and I’ll walk right back out that door.”